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The Do’s and Don’ts of Effective Leadership, Part 2

The key to becoming an inspiring boss begins with how you choose to behave toward your staff. Here is the second part of a two-part series on how to create a culture of responsibility, foster positive energy and be the kind of leader that attracts—and keeps—great employees.

by Ari Weinzweig

In Part 1 of this feature that ran in the November/December 2011 issue of Specialty Food Magazine, I began a discussion on the subject of bad bosses. The idea was sparked by a conversation with a friend who has a good job but struggles with an employer who is erratic and undermines both her efforts and the efforts of other people on staff. My friend likes her job, but that doesn’t make up for the spirit-killing nature of working for someone with these habits. I do believe that bad bosses can change if they want to. Our conversation inspired me to create a list of behaviors that are common among effective leaders.

In Part 1, the first nine behaviors I recommended were:

1. Be considerate.
2. Be consistent.
3. Be reasonable.
4. Bring good energy.
5. Be humble and share the credit.
6. Show your belief in those around you.
7. Follow through.
8. Listen well.
9. Be real.

You can read the full explanations of these behaviors as well as their alternative behaviors and their effects here: The Dos and Don'ts of Effective Leadership Part 1.

Now, on to Part 2 of the tips I believe are key to being a courteous, kind and effective boss.

10. Honor the Way Others Feel

It is hugely important work to see others for who they are, acknowledge the way they feel and think, and treat them with respect. Add in a little empathy and appreciation and you’re really on a roll. Just because you honor them as human beings doesn’t mean you’re obligated to do what they want you to do; it just means you’re not regularly beating on them to be someone other than who they are. You can honor others’ feelings and then still constructively and caringly encourage them to go beyond their comfort zone in the interest of personal growth and organizational success.

Or you can choose to deny employees’ feelings. Telling people not to feel the way they feel is a surefire way toward a leadership shortfall. Staff will quickly learn not to be vulnerable in your presence and they’ll hide their concerns. Surely and steadily, these denials of reality will lead to a dysfunctional world in which up becomes down, yes means no and—you get the idea. It’s so confusing that everything takes far longer, energy falls rapidly and less and less gets done every day.

11. Don’t Hold Grudges

Look, everyone will fall short on something. Most of us mess up a couple of things most every day. But hardly any of those mistakes are made mindfully. And even if they are, you need to let it go. Holding grudges or punishing people over and over again for an error that occurred years ago just isn’t helpful. You may be incensed by others’ shortfalls, but acting on the anger and being vindictive is never a good move. By contrast, having a spirit of understanding, and letting go of what’s long since done, can only create positive energy in your organization.

Or you can be just as vindictive as you can be. I don’t need to say too much here, it’s all in the history books. Read up on the Hatfields and McCoys or watch any of the “Godfather” films. Vendettas make for fascinating novels but they’re never helpful in building a great business.

12. Never Act in Anger

You are going to be angry. I’m not saying don’t be angry. Just don’t act in anger. Other than in an emergency situation, making a decision while you’re in the middle of a fit of anger is always a bad move. Nothing good can come of it. When I’m having a bad day, usually the best thing I can do is go for a run—it’s my adult version of a time-out. To the same point, someone once shared with me a saying from the Persian philosopher Rumi that went something like this: “When you’re drunk and near a cliff, sit down.”

Or you can choose to lash out. If you start firing off decisions when your anger is building, you may feel better, but probably only for the first five minutes. After that, you’re guaranteed to get yourself—and worse, your firm—into trouble. I haven’t done it often, but every time I have, I spend days—and on occasion weeks or months—making it all right again. If you have nothing better to do with your time and want to bring some emotional sado-masochism into your management work, go for it, but it isn’t effective in the long run.

13. Be Appreciative

Better leaders say thanks. They say it with feeling and they say it a lot. When you are vocal in your appreciation, both in the moment and when it’s least expected, you are going in the right direction. If you aren’t already doing this, you can start by just saying thanks at the end of every shift. You can follow that by thanking people—individually and in groups—for their achievements, however great or small. Thank customers, suppliers, your IT staff and your tech team. The upside is enormous and it means something to people to know you notice.

Or you can act as if you don’t care what people do for you.But be warned, when we at the top don’t act appreciative, the little things stop getting done. Even worse, the attitude we bring will be handed on down the line. New people soon learn that no one appreciates what they do, which means the drive to do well goes down every day. This approach is particularly positive for employees who are already predisposed to feeling like victims. They already always feel unappreciated—and in this case, they are.

14. Live the Standards You Set

If you’re going to make rules for everyone else, the whole thing will work way better if you follow them too. Sticking to your own standards is not neurosurgery. For example, if you put yourself on the schedule, then you should show up on time. It’s difficult to be tough on frontline staff for not showing up on time when you don’t expect the same from yourself.

Or ignore your own systems. I’ve slipped on this myself many times. It’s never a great move to get a guideline going, and then turn right around and act as if it didn’t exist. The old “do as I say, not as I do” line is a difficult one to lead with if you’re trying to accomplish anything other than alienating everyone on your staff.

15. Share Information Lavishly

Sharing information effectively and often can only help everyone you hire to do a better job. No one can make good decisions without good information. People need to know what you want, why you want it, where you’re going, what you believe and what you’re thinking if you want them to do well. If you have a good reason not to share certain information (privacy or respect for those involved, for example), take time to explain that.

Or you can keep secrets, and make sure everyone knows you’re keeping them. Friends have told me that the management team in their respective organizations meets regularly but shares nothing that was worked on with the rest of the staff. Mind you, none of these people work for the CIA. Exclusion can only exacerbate preexisting problems: When you keep people in the dark, they assume the worst. Trust drops, rumors spread, and pretty soon your office starts to resemble the Kremlin circa 1977. This communication vacuum is also a veritable windfall for people who are predisposed to feeling like victims. In place of the truth, they get to mold reality to fit their own cynical worldview. It’s also a great insurance policy for them—even if they took action, should it fail, they can say they were just acting on the insufficient bit of information they’d been given. What else could they do, right?

16. Make Sure People Have the Tools They Need to Do the Job

If you’re going to send people in to do a job, run a project or solve a problem, provide them with the resources they need to do the work well. There’s a lot to be said for pushing people to sort stuff out on their own that they’ve not dealt with before. (A good leader is always moving the bar a bit higher too so the staff achieves at a level that’s commensurate with their capabilities, not just stuck in the status quo.) But sending them to build a bridge with a box of Popsicle sticks, some glue and a nasty glare isn’t going to get anything good to happen.

Or just let them figure everything out on their own, every time. Some supervisors get angry at their employees when they have the nerve to ask for assistance. This sort of situation brings bad energy and excessive anger into the workplace. Victims are probably the only ones who can find some solace in it—they knew it was all a set-up from the start.

17. Study Hard

I don’t mean to sound old-school but, seriously, you’ve got to study hard if you want to have any serious shot at success. I’ve been out in the world a long time now, and I’ve never yet met anyone, of any age, in any field, who was great at what they did that didn’t work incredibly hard. Whether it’s a scientist, sax player, sandwich maker or shooting guard for the Celtics, the people at the top generally get where they are for a reason, and that reason is not (I’m pretty sure) intervention from on high. As Hugh MacLeod wrote in his book, Ignore Everybody: “If somebody in your industry is more successful than you, it’s probably because he works harder at it than you do. Sure, maybe he’s more inherently talented or more adept at networking, but over time, that advantage counts for less and less. Which is why,” he adds, quite accurately, “the world is full of highly talented, network-savvy, failed mediocrities.”

Working hard at something may not make you the best, but as Rodger Bowser, one of the managing partners at Zingerman’s Deli, once said, “The world is run by people who show up.” That means both literally—showing up for meetings, planning sessions and other such stuff—and intellectually. If you don’t study and stay engaged and on the cutting edge, you’re simply a lot less likely to succeed. I don’t mean you shouldn’t take time off, go to your kid’s soccer game or have hobbies. But failure to study and to work hard—holding back instead of giving your all—aren’t likely to get you far.

Or stick to the bare minimum.The surest way to make sure you don’t succeed is to slack off. Of course, if you’re fine with the status quo there’s a lot to be said for goofing off and having a good time. But if you aspire to higher levels of achievement, a steady diet of slacking will lead to perpetual frustration, serious bouts of anger and a solid base for a cynical worldview. And if the boss is slacking, problems are sure to follow.

Let me restate that none of these positive behaviors are overly complicated or at all shocking to anyone who’s given the quality of their leadership even the slightest bit of consideration. And if you haven’t been leading in this way, you can improve.

Transforming an ineffective, angry organization into a happy, courteous, effective one isn’t an overnight activity. But starting to live this small stuff effectively every day is a good way to start and it also improves the quality of your business across the board. Employees with victim tendencies ultimately exit positive organizations for more victim-friendly fields elsewhere. And conversely, leaders who consistently behave in a positive and courteous way make their business that much more attractive to others who like to behave that way too.

None of this stuff is fancy, but it sure is effective. It won’t ever get headlines, but it will help you make headway. And remember, if all else fails, even when things are bad, and getting worse, it’s always caring and constructive to be considerate. |SFM|

Ari Weinzweig is co-owner of Zingerman’s Delicatessen in Ann Arbor, Mich., and author of Zingerman’s Guide to Giving Great Service and other books. For more information, visit zingtrain.com.